The Silly Compassion Skit!!!
I wrote this (hopefully) humorous skit to advertise a six-week Compassion Course organized through the Adult Religious Education Committee (ARE). It was based on Karen Armstrong's book—Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life. The skirt directs two players, Leon and Sarah, to stand before the congregation in awkward silence before noticing each other. Then, the dialogue begins…
Leon: Hey, Sarah.
Sarah: Hi, Leon. How are you this morning?
Leon: I’m ok…just ok. I mean, I’m good but I’m a little frustrated…just a little…but I’m ok…but just ok.
Sarah: You don’t sound ok.
Leon: No? How do I sound?
Sarah: You sound like…not ok. You sound like you’re a little upset about something. What’s going on for you?
Leon: Well, I guess you’re right. I am a little upset but I don’t want to trouble you.
Sarah: Trouble me, my friend. What’s going on?
Leon: Well, I heard about this great Compassion course at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Silver Spring and I really want to take it but I can’t.
Sarah: Why can’t you take the course?
Leon: Well, honestly, I can’t afford it. It’s super expensive.
Sarah: What? What do you mean “expensive”? Most of the things that they do over there are free.
Leon: Not the course on compassion. I guess you could say compassion isn’t cheap?
Sarah: Well, you could say that. It might not be funny…
Leon: Oh, I’m super bummed out about it.
Sarah: So, what? Is there a registration cost?
Leon: Yes. And it’s ridiculous. I don’t know who they expect to participate.
Sarah: How much is it? Maybe I could help you with it?
Leon: Oh, no. I mean, that’s so kind of you but I could never ask you for that kind of money. It’s just too much.
Sarah: Well, how much is it?
Leon: It’s $3,500!!
Sarah: $3,500!!
Leon: I know! I know!! It’s crazy.
Sarah: Oh, my god! That’s so super cheap!!! Do you realize how great compassion is? Is there still space? I want to go myself, if there is still room!
Leon: Wait. What?
Sarah: I want to go…and I would be glad pay for you. You know, I’m totally, totally loaded!!! There is no need to pay me back. I got this. I got you covered. No worries. You’re totally good.
Leon: Oh, my god. I can’t believe it. I didn’t know you had money like that.
Sarah: I got this kind of money like that. I got this kind of money for days and days. Leon, we pay the cost of compassion with spiritual dollars, not with commercial coins and cash…and each of us has unlimited access to everything that we need. And even if your spiritual account is a little low right now, don’t worry. I can pay your way. In fact, I can pay the cost for as long as you need.
Leon: [checking phone] Unbelievable! I just checked my spiritual bank account online. And I can’t believe it!! I didn’t think I had the money, but it turns out that I totally do!! More than I need. I can even pay for others to attend!! This is wonderful!
Sarah: Yes, you have everything you need in your spiritual bank account!!
Leon: In my spiritual bank account?!?!
Sarah: Yes, yes! In your spiritual bank account!!
Leon: Of course.
Sarah: Of course.
Leon: Of course.
Sarah: I know.
Leon: I know.
Sarah: That’s good.
Leon: It’s great!
Sarah: I know.
Leon: I know.
Sarah: Let’s…cut this out. It’s getting a little weird.
Leon: It is.
Sarah: It is.
Leon: Ok, ok…but can I tell my friends about this great compassion class?
John: You can tell your friends. You can tell your family. You can tell everyone you know because all are welcome. Hi, my name is John Henderson and my speaking voice is amazing! I’m here this morning to tell you that this class is for everyone for all of us are endlessly rich in spirit!! Check the seat cards for more information and sign yourself up today!!!
Sarah: That’s good.
Leon: It’s great!
Sarah: I know.
Leon: I know.
Sarah: Ok. Let’s…cut this out.
THE END